I hate being the girl that always writes songs about break-ups. It makes me feel super lame (yet now I’m writing a blog post about break-ups…).
I’ve really only had one full fledged break-up and.. It. Was. The. Worst. Sign me up for that again—NEVER! Yet, while it was a pretty bad time in my life, it was the start of me understanding pain. I used to be that girl that never cried. I was just kind of numb. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a zombie, but I couldn’t relate when people were grieving someone they lost or had their heart broken. Honestly, I think part of me thought that they were weak.
Then I got my heart broken and I finally understood what Taylor Swift has been singing about all this time. I suddenly understood rejection—which apparently affects the same part of the brain as when someone experiences physical pain. Rejection is real, my friends, and it hurts like a b*tch.
The thing that is really hard about rejection in a break-up is this person, who you likely love most in the world at that moment in time, is choosing to remove you from their life. The person you love so, so, so much is saying they would prefer to live the rest of their lives without you in it. OUCH!
It was terrible and disorienting, yet it was exactly what I needed to become a real person. It was what I needed to truly care about people. Instead of skirting away from deep conversations, I appreciate them, contribute to them and am even able to encourage the hurting person.
What I have learned and who I have become from that common, yet painful experience was worth it. To lose someone I loved, who wasn’t right for me anyways, taught me compassion and empathy. In losing love, it taught me to love. So ridiculously cliche but true all the same.
To quote my original song, “Fool”, “They say time can heal anything”… and I think it has.